Every Classical Singer’s Christmas Album, Ranked

I love Christmas: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever, about that. The register of my joy at this time of the year is secured by the glühwein, the television specials, the tree markets, and the carols. I love Christmas like Kanye loves Kanye. Mind! I don’t mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, the particulars of Kanye’s love for himself. But the wisdom of our memes is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the internet’s done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that I love Christmas as much as Kanye loves Kanye.